Category: Body Image

Real #SquadGoals

1 Comment

I’ve never been good at making friends. For one thing I come from a conservative religious background that can sometimes make it hard for people to relate to me very much, bu more importantly I suffer from social anxiety. In my mind I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be my friend. After all, who would want to be friends with someone who doesn’t go out on Friday nights? Someone who struggles with slang and preferred research in the library over shopping?

Growing up, I  made the effort  to be the friend people would want even though the people I befriended didn’t provide me with the friendships I deserved as most of them would take advantage of my generosity for their personal gain. I had conceded to the idea that I just should take what I was given if I ever wanted to have any friends. Looking back it honestly was a subtle form of self-harm (which is not surprising to me given my deliberate self -injury behavior as a teen) that stopped once I met my best friend Jaden* during freshmen year of high school, who really got me out of my shell by encouraging me to  just be myself to the point that started to open up more.

2013 End it Now March Against Abuse and Domestic Violence with 4RWI

Now as an adult friendships are a bit more complicated with the added responsibilities of family and making a living, yet I have found that these mature relationships, especially with women, are more significant as it isn’t about being a part of an “in-crowd” or anything like that, instead it is about  building life-long relationships with purpose. From gaining real world mentoring from the women of 4 Real Women International, INC (4RWI) while working to empower women both in the US and abroad to meeting and collaborating with influencers that I had long admired from my computer, I pretty much a member of quite a few “squads”.  Granted adulting results in people entering different life stages and/or reaching significant milestones at different times that could lead to envy and/or competition, nevertheless, when you meet the right people that is never an issue.
Continue reading →

Q & A With Journalist & “The Souls of Black Girls” Documentary Producer, Daphne Valerius

Leave a comment

thesoulsofblackgirlsLast November I had the privilege of attending a screening of a documentary involving the representation of black women in media entitled, “The Souls of Black girls.” Featuring Regina King, Jada Pinkett-Smith, the late Gwen Ifill,  and Rapper Chuck D to name a few, this film presented hard truths that are often ignored even now, ten years after it was first produced. The screening and the discussion that followed left me wanting more, so I reached out to the creator and producer, Daphne Valerius for some insights as to her film and the planned sequel that is in the works.

Host, Producer and Entrepreneur Daphne Valerius

Check out my talk with her below.

Disclaimer: Responses have been edited for clarity and length.

Continue reading →

Confessions of a Recovering Wallflower

3 Comments

Let me take this time to confess something: ever since I was a pre-teen I have suffered with severe social anxiety. I have been known to have a panic attack at just the mere thought of doing any kind of activity in front of a crowd, like public speaking. I have gotten ill. I have even literally run away. I would blush severely and break out into sweat whenever I raised my hand in class or  even when speaking to someone outside of my immediate circle of friends and family.

Growing up I constantly received so many negative comments about my weight, hair and overall appearance that I became more than content at being behind the scenes because that is where  I was told I belonged.  I developed a warped understanding of  beauty and self-worth to the point that I told myself  that only those that were conventionally beautiful were meant to be photographed. I wasn’t, so I didn’t need to be. 20161229_151024-2So how does a person like this become a fashion blogger? With much difficulty and purpose-fueled drive. For example, whenever I go out for blog shoots I am very self aware of what I am doing mostly because half the time there are people around. I get self conscious as to what these passersby may be thinking especially when there have been times that they have stopped to watch. I’ve only managed to follow through because my blog photographers are so enthusiastic about the entire process and my body positive mission that it becomes so easy to forget about the curious looks from those around.

Continue reading →

+Size Matters: Hairspray (1988 and 2007)

4 Comments

hairspray-postHairspray is a very interesting film and musical as the protagonist is plus size but the story presents a character of this body type be more than just a source of humor due to “gluttonous practices.” The heart of the story is the theme of acceptance of difference, whether it be size, race or even economic background. The protagonist, Traci Turnblad, uses her privilege and local celebrity platform to bring on a cultural change which in this case involved integrating a very popular dance show. The very title implies the significance of appearance which is conveyed better in the 1988 original with the opening sequence being that of the council members getting ready to  go live on television.

the-von-taseels-vs-turnblads

Colleen Fitzpatrick as Amber Von Tussle, Debbie Harry as Velma Von Tussle, Divine as Edna Turnblad, and Ricki Lake as Tracy Turnblad, Hairspray (1988). Image Credit: © 1988 New Line Cinema

I truly believe that what makes this Hairspray so appealing is the layers that come with it. The story follows Tracy’s rise in dance show scene, the racial conflicts of the 1960s, the socioeconomic differences of their community, as well as the relationship between the two mothers, Edna and Velma, and their daughters, Tracy and Amber. With the live broadcast of the musical adaption set to air tonight, I thought it would be great to take a look at these two very distinct films and how they help set the standard for what makes a great body positive, plus size protagonist lead story.

Continue reading →

Let’s Talk Bras!

2 Comments

With the great amount of attention that we put on shopping for great outfits, we tend to ignore what lies beneath.  Foundation-wear is essential to looking great for every outfit that you put together which is why I was so excited to learn about  Curvy Couture from body positive designer and blogger, Alyssa Dalessandro of Ready to Stare at Curvy Con this year.

20160618_135202

With the inspirational Alyssa at the Curvy Couture booth.

Curvy Couture is an online plus size intimates retailer that  sells lingerie and  bras internationally up to a H cup. As I got the chance to take a look at some of their bras in person at their booth I decided to order one for myself.  I’ve never owned a t-shirt bra  so I decided to order one in the color nude, a shade that has yet to grace my bra collection.  My favorite thing about my experience shopping at Curvy Couture was the fact that returns are free and the team is goes the extra mile to help you get the right fit.  I’ve had my new bra for a month now and it has become one of my favorites.  That said, I figured this was a great opportunity to discuss bras and bra shopping. So if you’re looking for a new bra or to just refresh your collection here are some points to keep in mind.

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post.

Continue reading →