Confessions of a Recovering Wallflower

Let me take this time to confess something: ever since I was a pre-teen I have suffered with severe social anxiety. I have been known to have a panic attack at just the mere thought of doing any kind of activity in front of a crowd, like public speaking. I have gotten ill. I have even literally run away. I would blush severely and break out into sweat whenever I raised my hand in class or  even when speaking to someone outside of my immediate circle of friends and family.

Growing up I constantly received so many negative comments about my weight, hair and overall appearance that I became more than content at being behind the scenes because that is where  I was told I belonged.  I developed a warped understanding of  beauty and self-worth to the point that I told myself  that only those that were conventionally beautiful were meant to be photographed. I wasn’t, so I didn’t need to be. 20161229_151024-2So how does a person like this become a fashion blogger? With much difficulty and purpose-fueled drive. For example, whenever I go out for blog shoots I am very self aware of what I am doing mostly because half the time there are people around. I get self conscious as to what these passersby may be thinking especially when there have been times that they have stopped to watch. I’ve only managed to follow through because my blog photographers are so enthusiastic about the entire process and my body positive mission that it becomes so easy to forget about the curious looks from those around.

Continue reading

When You Are Laid-off Before the Holidays…

I am unemployed. Those are three words I did not even think I would be saying at the start of the new year. (If anything I thought it would have been more along the lines of , “I got promoted.” ) The unfortunate reality is that the business world lacks humane decisions and when it comes to creating budgets for the upcoming new year they have no problem with making the staff “leaner” by vastly reducing its numbers regardless of the festive holiday season. I, like many others in the world, was a casualty of this practice, which brought on feelings and thoughts I was not anticipating. True, nothing lasts forever but when you have been working for approximately 2 years just get your foot in the door only to have it slam in your face, like I have, it makes you feel like you failed and stand no chance in actually starting a career. You blame yourself even though there was nothing you could do to change the decision, but through it all, here are some things you should remember: Continue reading