My Bare Arms Summer

September 23, 2015April 28, 20163 Comments

Ever since I was a tween, my biggest insecurity were the appearance of my arms. They are big, covered with stretch marks, and scars– things that I believed absolutely had to be covered. This insecurity would effect me most once it started to get warmer. For me this usually meant that sleeves (not short sleeves, mind you) and sweaters made up most of my daily summer wardrobe, even in 100 degree NYC humidity. While other girls and young women would wear their tanks and spaghetti-strapped summer dresses, I wore thick hoodies (sometimes over long sleeves).

This continued on as I have entered adulthood. Even with the scorching sun outside, I would stay covered, replacing my adolescent hoodies for shrugs, cardigans and blazers.(It should come as no surprise that I usually spend the summer indoors.) I truly believed that as big as I was, I had no right to show off my arms. Nevermind that the various types of cover-ups didn’t make my arms disappear from existence or give them a slimmer appearance. This all changed mid- May in a Target fitting room. As I stood there looking at my reflection in the mirror, I just could not figure out how to wear the Lilly Pulitzer Sea-Urchin-for -You Satin Florence dress with a shrug and retain the overall silhouette of the dress. That’s when it hit me, why did I have to? It was then that I decided to stop hiding my arms and embrace them as they are. Continue reading →

+Size Matters: Phat Girlz

September 18, 2015April 11, 20163 Comments

Growing up in the United States made me accustomed to the Westernized standard of feminine beauty: thin, tall, of fair skin and straight hair. It never once occurred to me that my body type, skin tone and even hair could be considered the epitome of beauty someplace else. That surprise came when I traveled to Jamaica, W.I. back in 2013 for a conference.

Ironically, my workshop dealt with being single and I had started by telling the women stories of my unsuccessful dating life. One of the mature ladies at one point asked why my last relationship didn’t work out and I responded by saying that the young man had a particular type and I didn’t fit it due to my weight. I followed that by explaining that the unfortunate reality is that most of the men I am/have been attracted to just aren’t interested in women that look like me. At saying that the entire group of 60 women fell silent.

Once the workshop was over I was approached by two of the ladies (who were thin, curvy and model-status beautiful) said that I should not be so hung out for not being “the perfect size 8” because on the island men preferred women that looked like me over them. I was stunned. Of course the idea that beauty standards were not the same around the world was something that had been suggested to me prior to this trip when I was a teenager back in 2006, via a film, but I figured it was just a fantasy created for the sole purpose of giving the story of a plus size protagonist a happy ending. That film of course was Phat Girlz.
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Summer Lights

August 15, 2015April 28, 2016Leave a comment

There is nothing better than unplanned and spontaneous time with friends, especially in the summer. This week the weather in NYC has been very forgiving, so a friend and I took advantage by taking a nice stroll through Astoria, Queens. It felt great to spend some time catching up after spending so much time away from each other with our hectic work schedules. It was doubly special because the casual outing gave me an excuse to wear a piece I got from the first Fashion to Figure sample sale I attended back in February. Continue reading →

Blue and White Boho Summer

August 8, 2015March 26, 20163 Comments

Ever since high school I developed this habit of avoiding shops that cater more to straight sizes, mostly because I figure since my size and shape is obviously not taken into account in the design of their offered pieces, I would only be wasting my time by looking there. Of course this mode of thinking is false, as evident from this outfit made up entirely of straight size pieces.

Back in late May I ventured into Forever 21 to do some shopping recon and my eye was immediately lead to this navy blue and cream bandana skirt. I scanned the racks for my size and I was not surprised to find that it wasn’t available in plus. Not to be defeated so easily, I found the skirt in a large (their largest offering of this piece) and went to try it on. I fell in love as you may have seen on Instagram:

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Good For You?

July 31, 2015December 4, 20165 Comments

I remember the first time I was publicly fat shamed. I was a 16 years old and on a class trip to the Jewish Heritage Museum in Manhattan for leadership training. We were having lunch in the museum’s cafeteria; honestly I don’t remember if I actually ate anything since this was during the time I would skip meals with the goal of getting thin. I do remember that at one point my friend got up to get a second helping of food at which time I asked him to get me a can of soda. He came back with a can of Diet Coke, I looked at the can and then up at him in confusion. He then said, very loudly I might add, “You could stand to lose a couple of pounds.” The entire table and those next to it laughed. I left the soda right in his hand and walked away. No one stood up for me and he never apologized. He claimed that it was a joke. I wasn’t laughing.

Such occurrences only got worse once I got older. In fact,one of my mother’s oldest friends no longer greets me with a, “Hi, how have you been?,” like the average person would, but with a, “You’re fatter.”

“Healthy” does not equal a specific physical appearance.