Let me take this time to confess something: ever since I was a pre-teen I have suffered with severe social anxiety. I have been known to have a panic attack at just the mere thought of doing any kind of activity in front of a crowd, like public speaking. I have gotten ill. I have even literally run away. I would blush severely and break out into sweat whenever I raised my hand in class or even when speaking to someone outside of my immediate circle of friends and family.
Growing up I constantly received so many negative comments about my weight, hair and overall appearance that I became more than content at being behind the scenes because that is where I was told I belonged. I developed a warped understanding of beauty and self-worth to the point that I told myself that only those that were conventionally beautiful were meant to be photographed. I wasn’t, so I didn’t need to be. So how does a person like this become a fashion blogger? With much difficulty and purpose-fueled drive. For example, whenever I go out for blog shoots I am very self aware of what I am doing mostly because half the time there are people around. I get self conscious as to what these passersby may be thinking especially when there have been times that they have stopped to watch. I’ve only managed to follow through because my blog photographers are so enthusiastic about the entire process and my body positive mission that it becomes so easy to forget about the curious looks from those around.