Confessions of a Recovering Wallflower

Let me take this time to confess something: ever since I was a pre-teen I have suffered with severe social anxiety. I have been known to have a panic attack at just the mere thought of doing any kind of activity in front of a crowd, like public speaking. I have gotten ill. I have even literally run away. I would blush severely and break out into sweat whenever I raised my hand in class or  even when speaking to someone outside of my immediate circle of friends and family.

Growing up I constantly received so many negative comments about my weight, hair and overall appearance that I became more than content at being behind the scenes because that is where  I was told I belonged.  I developed a warped understanding of  beauty and self-worth to the point that I told myself  that only those that were conventionally beautiful were meant to be photographed. I wasn’t, so I didn’t need to be. 20161229_151024-2So how does a person like this become a fashion blogger? With much difficulty and purpose-fueled drive. For example, whenever I go out for blog shoots I am very self aware of what I am doing mostly because half the time there are people around. I get self conscious as to what these passersby may be thinking especially when there have been times that they have stopped to watch. I’ve only managed to follow through because my blog photographers are so enthusiastic about the entire process and my body positive mission that it becomes so easy to forget about the curious looks from those around.

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Even Flowers Need Water

The past few days have been very interesting weather wise in NYC. One day it is very humid, the next day it is cool, followed  by heavy thunder storms out of no where that dissipate to clear sunny skies. The bi-polar nature of this season so far has been very fitting as it matches my mood, which has been quite melancholy due to recent events.  The weather, coupled with my emotional state really made it real hard to “dress up” when I would  actually venture out  of the house,  especially when all I wanted do is stay in bed all day. Its funny how a shopping trip and an impulse buy can change your attitude.

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Eloquii Floral scuba-knit pleated peplum top (similar here and here) | New York & Company Faux-Leather Drawstring Soft Pant (similar here) | Satchel bag (old) | Flats (sold out) | Mary Kay True Dimensions Lipstick, Wild About Pink 

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