I never been one for dates, other than birthdays. This is part of the reason why I’m so attached to both my Google calendar and pocket planner to keep everything together. Not that I would be completely lost without them, just that it does help. Knowing this, you might think that I had forgotten that this blog turned 10 years old back in January, and yet that is simply not the case.  I simply didn’t get to mark the occasion due to becoming  a recluse as I deal with (f)unemployement.  It is also why I did my best to not acknowledge my milestone birthday this year, and believe me, I had plans.

Ten years in and I’m still waiting on that influencer money. (I’m kidding, of course.)

Anyway, now nine months into the year,  I wish I could say that things have improved, though sadly it has yet to. This is all far from what I had planned last year when I decided to make the biggest taboo move and quit a job without a back up. You’re probably reading this and saying, “In this economy?!” Yea, I know. And it’s the second time I’ve done it, which is funny because the last time five years ago I said it would be the first and last time. My best friend, an HR specialist and consultant, has told me on more than one occasion that this happens when you leave a toxic job; oftentimes you end up at another one, which can be worse than the one you left…if you’re not careful. Make of that what you will.

Despite getting a fair few promising interviews on my calendar literally within hours of my handing in my FIVE PAGE two-minutes notice (let me know if you want to hear that story), my positive outlook on my decision started to wane the minute they slowed down into the holiday season and the new year. As a result, I turned to removing myself from most social interaction,  if only to keep costs down and not to burden those close to me with negative talk. With no income it also made things difficult to keep the fashion-related content going as I wasn’t doing any shopping.  Instead I’ve taken this time to take some workshops to expand on my skillset, read through my TBR, and even take another stab at some unfinished manuscripts. Ultimately, I’m unemployed but not uninspired, which is a blessing.

I’m slowly looking for ways to “re-emerge” while still keeping spending to a minimum as I’m still living off of what was once (as in nine months ago) a fairly impressive “FU fund”, though living in a city like New York makes this hard to do. I’ve turned down many an outing with friends due to being too scared that I’d end up $20 short for my rent or something. I doubt anyone can fault me for being paranoid like that, but I figured an explanation is still warranted.

Forever thankful for the friends, like Tan, who have gotten me out of the house, if only to have an excuse to get dressed up.

That said, when I first started working on the blog, it was not only an outlet for me to share my style journey, but it was also my chance to give my voice a platform in the way I was most comfortable, in writing. In essence, I wanted to join the growing community started by those OG plus-size fashion icons that I had admired while sharing my thoughts on the subject through a more practical lens rather than the aspirational which was more common. Sadly, in the last five or so years, this space has become less of a community and more about competition over who can get the most fashion show invites and brand collaborations. (That is, if they haven’t turned away from plus-size fashion/the body positive movement entirely to push a fatphobic, weight loss message instead; this is a topic for another time, though.)

That is not to say that this competition is new. In those early years, I would attend every fashion/beauty event I could manage to RSVP to, even if it called for an entrance fee.  I wanted to be seen to be on the same level of those icons that rose up before me, so I did my best to be in “the room” whenever possible. It did work, as there were a few times that I got invited to events by brands and designers, despite having a lower follower count compared to my peers. It was a lot of work with very little return, if I can be honest, and not just financially.

With this blogging milestone, I guess you could say that I’m choosing hope over the hustle. If opportunities to work with brands come, I’m happy to participate (as long as they align with my values). If they don’t, I still have content to create and share. It’s time to get creative and really lean into recreating the community that I miss, one post at a time.

Many thanks to those of you who have been following the blog since the start ten years ago, and to those who are just joining in! I truly appreciate the support and trust me when I say that the content on the way is worth the long wait. 

That being said, what else would you like to see me cover on this blog moving forward? I’m open to ideas and suggestions.