Category: Personal

Real #SquadGoals

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I’ve never been good at making friends. For one thing I come from a conservative religious background that can sometimes make it hard for people to relate to me very much, bu more importantly I suffer from social anxiety. In my mind I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be my friend. After all, who would want to be friends with someone who doesn’t go out on Friday nights? Someone who struggles with slang and preferred research in the library over shopping?

Growing up, I  made the effort  to be the friend people would want even though the people I befriended didn’t provide me with the friendships I deserved as most of them would take advantage of my generosity for their personal gain. I had conceded to the idea that I just should take what I was given if I ever wanted to have any friends. Looking back it honestly was a subtle form of self-harm (which is not surprising to me given my deliberate self -injury behavior as a teen) that stopped once I met my best friend Jaden* during freshmen year of high school, who really got me out of my shell by encouraging me to  just be myself to the point that started to open up more.

2013 End it Now March Against Abuse and Domestic Violence with 4RWI

Now as an adult friendships are a bit more complicated with the added responsibilities of family and making a living, yet I have found that these mature relationships, especially with women, are more significant as it isn’t about being a part of an “in-crowd” or anything like that, instead it is about  building life-long relationships with purpose. From gaining real world mentoring from the women of 4 Real Women International, INC (4RWI) while working to empower women both in the US and abroad to meeting and collaborating with influencers that I had long admired from my computer, I pretty much a member of quite a few “squads”.  Granted adulting results in people entering different life stages and/or reaching significant milestones at different times that could lead to envy and/or competition, nevertheless, when you meet the right people that is never an issue.
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Slay Sista Slay

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Happy Women’s History Month!  Having spent five years volunteering with a NYC-based women’s empowerment non profit, I can truly say that there is nothing more powerful than when women come together to advocate for the rights and advancement of other women. It is a notion that deserves to be celebrated and explored through various platforms of discussion. For this reason I’m hoping to cover topics relevant to female empowerment on the blog such as budgeting, the significance of creating a personal brand, as well as making time for self-love all through what is left of this month.  Of course fashion will still be featured,  including my final winter look for this season and some early spring looks that I’m excited to finally share, as it is a significant way we can empower each other, however, such self-expression is only one part of our experience as women.   Continue reading →

My Two Cents: Real Fashion Inclusivity?

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Well the inevitable has happened –body positivity has gone mainstream. Untouched and unedited ads have garnered so much media attention to the point a straight size brand has “resorted” to featuring plus models in their marketing campaigns to profit of this trend even though these same models don’t fit in the very clothes the brand sells in stores. This particular ad campaign received some backlash on social media, with many people demanding the retailer introduce size inclusive collections that reflect what they currently marketing and of course bringing up the debate as to whether or not plus should be dropped all together as creates unnecessary division. Modcloth immediately comes to mind as a brand that pushed for this as they announced back in 2015 that they would be dropping the “plus size” category on their site. It was a decision that received massive praise across the internet for it implied the idea of shopping by style instead of size. I’ll admit that at first I was ecstatic to hear about this change because I thought this size inclusive shopping experience meant more pieces being available in plus sizes. Sadly that was not the case as there are many pieces up on the site that are only available up to a size 12 if you are lucky. In order to ensure that you are shopping pieces available in plus sizes, you have to refine your search by size which is basically manually re-creating the plus size page they once had.  Now I have to give them credit, they conducted an independent survey on their customers to find out more about their needs and wants in terms of fashion. HOWEVER, the very idea that simply dropping the category is being size inclusive is very misguided.

Which leads me to the what initiated this blog post. Lovesick.

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Oh Lovesick…size UP not down. SMH

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Confessions of a Recovering Wallflower

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Let me take this time to confess something: ever since I was a pre-teen I have suffered with severe social anxiety. I have been known to have a panic attack at just the mere thought of doing any kind of activity in front of a crowd, like public speaking. I have gotten ill. I have even literally run away. I would blush severely and break out into sweat whenever I raised my hand in class or  even when speaking to someone outside of my immediate circle of friends and family.

Growing up I constantly received so many negative comments about my weight, hair and overall appearance that I became more than content at being behind the scenes because that is where  I was told I belonged.  I developed a warped understanding of  beauty and self-worth to the point that I told myself  that only those that were conventionally beautiful were meant to be photographed. I wasn’t, so I didn’t need to be. 20161229_151024-2So how does a person like this become a fashion blogger? With much difficulty and purpose-fueled drive. For example, whenever I go out for blog shoots I am very self aware of what I am doing mostly because half the time there are people around. I get self conscious as to what these passersby may be thinking especially when there have been times that they have stopped to watch. I’ve only managed to follow through because my blog photographers are so enthusiastic about the entire process and my body positive mission that it becomes so easy to forget about the curious looks from those around.

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Why Fa(t)shion?

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I have been very fortunate to have major support for what I do here on this blog. I’ve had friends and family help me pick out blog shoot sites, take pictures and point out new industry updates that I may have missed due to my hectic schedule.  And every once in a while they question what I decide to feature in my posts, but with recent events being what they are, I’ve noticed that these private exchanges have shifted. I’ve begun to get messages saying that with my academic background and intellect, my time and efforts would be better spent writing about social injustices instead of fashion. To be honest, I have been anticipating that comment for a while now. The very act of  getting dressed is considered to be a necessary, yet  frivolous, part of everyday life, so the pointing out that  fashion plays a central role in society is met with denial and ambivalence. The thing is culture, race, socioeconomics, gender, capitalism/consumerism and even politics all intersect in fashion.

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Everyone whether black, white, rich, poor, male, female, adult, child or teen interact with it in some capacity.  Just think about  the amount of effort we put into figuring out what to wear for everyday occasions like going to work,  job interviews, graduations, dates,  quinceañera parties and of course weddings. Fashion, even at its most simple, conveys culture, social status, income level, education, age, sexuality, and even nationalism.  Continue reading →