Good For You?

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I remember the first time I was publicly fat shamed. I was a 16 years old and on a class trip to the Jewish Heritage Museum in Manhattan for leadership training.  We were having lunch in the museum’s cafeteria; honestly I don’t remember if I actually ate anything since this was during the time I would skip meals with the goal of getting thin. I do remember that at one point my friend got up to get a second helping of food at which time I asked him to get me a can of soda. He came back with a can of Diet Coke, I looked at the can and then up at him in confusion. He then said, very loudly I might add, “You could stand to lose a couple of pounds.” The entire table and those next to it laughed. I left the soda right in his hand and walked away. No one stood up for me and he never apologized. He claimed that it was a joke. I wasn’t laughing.

Such occurrences only got worse once I got older. In fact,one of my mother’s oldest friends no longer greets me with a, “Hi, how have you been?,” like the average person would, but with a, “You’re fatter.”

comic of double standards with food

“Healthy” does not equal a specific physical appearance.

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Even Flowers Need Water

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The past few days have been very interesting weather wise in NYC. One day it is very humid, the next day it is cool, followed  by heavy thunder storms out of no where that dissipate to clear sunny skies. The bi-polar nature of this season so far has been very fitting as it matches my mood, which has been quite melancholy due to recent events.  The weather, coupled with my emotional state really made it real hard to “dress up” when I would  actually venture out  of the house,  especially when all I wanted do is stay in bed all day. Its funny how a shopping trip and an impulse buy can change your attitude.

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Eloquii Floral scuba-knit pleated peplum top (similar here and here) | New York & Company Faux-Leather Drawstring Soft Pant (similar here) | Satchel bag (old) | Flats (sold out) | Mary Kay True Dimensions Lipstick, Wild About Pink 

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+Size Matters : My Mad Fat Diary

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So last spring I was focusing on my master’s exam and my 30 page paper that goes along with it. This is a choice that you can make to avoid writing a full length thesis and is supposedly easier, but really isn’t. Anyway, I started a studying regime in which I would study, study, study then rest, followed by more studying and writing. It was a pretty hectic time, yet it was during one of those “treat/rest sessions,” that I went onto Tumblr and was exposed to a show that would change everything. I follow a blogger on Tumblr, whose username is Ursula The Sea Bitch, and she had posted gifs labelled Finn and Rae. I was surprised to see a female plus-sized character actually have a romantic interest who is “conventionally attractive.” Without even knowing anything else about the show I immediately liked her post.  A couple days later she posted  another gif set that included the title, My Mad Fat Diary. Continue reading →

Shopping Without Spending A Dime

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With the move seven months ago I received the gift of the holy grail — a closet! I know for many people in the world this is nothing to be excited about, but for me this was the best thing to happen to me since learning how to manage my naturally curly hair. Having a closet has opened a world of organization that I could only simulate in my old apartment and has also given me a sense of financial and fashion accountability I really didn’t have before.

I’m a clothes hoarder. It’s a fact, which is why I can admit it so easily.  I have more clothes and shoes than I care to admit, due to my former habit of buying anything and everything that managed to fit my plus size frame. I have also kept most of my high school clothes which actually makes up the bulk of my wardrobe. It is worth noting that I have been out of high school for seven years now. Clearly I have lost track of what I was keeping and have to cut some ties with my past.

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This is actually less than half of what I currently own….

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My Two Cents: “Curvy” or “Plus Size”?

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The hashtag droptheplus has bought widespread attention as to whether or not women larger than a size 10 should be called/considered plus size as well as whether or not the term “plus size” should be dropped entirely. Personally, I have made my peace with being considered “plus- size” and really the only negative stigma I associate with the term are some of the fashions that are reminiscent of animal print, bedazzled maternity-inspired wear pushed to plus-size consumers with the lie, “Look we tried and you didn’t bite.”

Though created to simply describe clothing bigger than the acceptable straight size ideals, the term still holds incredibly negative associations regardless of how far the body positive movement has gone in the past decade. Our culture vilifies fat and fatness due to being linked to allusions of laziness, and ugliness. It leads to assumptions of one’s personality and behaviors as such a woman with fat* is one who clearly does not care about their appearance or attracting potential partners. They are the ones that have (supposedly) given up, and are responsible for making obesity an epidemic. Thus, plus-size is not a celebratory term, but rather a derogatory one that has lead to an increased fear of being recognized as such. Continue reading →