Tag: body positivity

Falling For Something Old Made New

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Fall weather has finally made it to New York City and what better way is there to enjoy the cooler weather than in a vintage cape. The cape is actually a gift from my great aunt who moved back to Panama in July and I have been waiting anxiously for a chance to wear it ever since. It is such a great “old world” piece, reminiscent of military fashion with its high textured velvet collar, double breasted buttons and braided frog closures. The wool fabric makes it perfect for this unpredictable transitional weather, yet I figure with the right gloves I may actually be able to wear it during the much expected freezing winter. Continuing within the vein of the cape’s classic style, I curated a vintage-inspired look by remixing both old and new pieces from my closet. Continue reading →

My Two Cents: Lane Bryant’s #PlusIsEqual Campaign Not a Total Fail?

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20150914_115925Two weeks ago I went down to Times Square for the #PlusIsEqual event. I’ll be honest, since there was nothing shared as to what the even actually was, I had considered not going at all. In the end I took the day off and made my way to the city all the while expecting coupons, or even an announcement of an affordable line offered by the brand once I got there. I got none of that. Continue reading →

My Bare Arms Summer

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Ever since I was a tween,  my biggest insecurity were the appearance of my arms. They are big, covered with stretch marks, and scars– things that I believed absolutely had to be covered. This insecurity would effect me most once it started to get warmer. For me this usually meant that sleeves (not short sleeves, mind you) and sweaters made up most of my daily summer wardrobe, even in 100 degree NYC humidity. While other girls and young women would wear their tanks and spaghetti-strapped summer dresses, I wore thick hoodies (sometimes over long sleeves).

This continued on as I have  entered adulthood. Even with the scorching  sun outside, I would stay covered, replacing my adolescent hoodies for shrugs, cardigans and blazers.(It should come as no surprise that I usually spend the summer indoors.)  I truly believed that as big as I was, I had no right to show off my arms. Nevermind that the various types of cover-ups didn’t make my arms disappear from existence or give them a slimmer appearance.  This all changed mid- May in a Target fitting room. As I stood there looking at my reflection in the mirror, I just could not figure out how to wear the Lilly Pulitzer Sea-Urchin-for -You Satin Florence dress  with a shrug and  retain the overall silhouette of the dress. That’s when it hit me, why did I have to? It was then that I decided to stop hiding my arms and embrace them as they are. Continue reading →

+Size Matters: Phat Girlz

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Growing up in the United States made me accustomed to the Westernized standard of feminine beauty: thin, tall, of fair skin and straight hair. It never once occurred to me that my body type, skin tone and even hair could be considered the epitome of beauty someplace else. That surprise came when I traveled to Jamaica, W.I. back in 2013 for a conference.

Ironically, my workshop dealt with being single and I had started by telling the women stories of my unsuccessful dating life. One of the mature ladies at one point asked why my last relationship didn’t work out and I responded by saying that the young man had a particular type and I didn’t fit it due to my weight. I followed that by explaining that the unfortunate reality is that most of the men I am/have been attracted to just aren’t interested in women that look like me. At saying that the entire group of 60 women fell silent.

Once the workshop was over I was approached by two of the ladies (who were thin, curvy and model-status beautiful) said that I should not be so hung out for not being “the perfect size 8” because on the island men preferred women that looked like me over them. I was stunned. Of course the idea that beauty standards were not the same around the world was something that had been suggested to me prior to this trip when I was  a teenager back in 2006, via a film, but I figured it was just a fantasy created for the sole purpose of giving the story of a plus size protagonist a happy ending. That film of course was Phat Girlz.
phatgirls 1 Continue reading →

Good For You?

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I remember the first time I was publicly fat shamed. I was a 16 years old and on a class trip to the Jewish Heritage Museum in Manhattan for leadership training.  We were having lunch in the museum’s cafeteria; honestly I don’t remember if I actually ate anything since this was during the time I would skip meals with the goal of getting thin. I do remember that at one point my friend got up to get a second helping of food at which time I asked him to get me a can of soda. He came back with a can of Diet Coke, I looked at the can and then up at him in confusion. He then said, very loudly I might add, “You could stand to lose a couple of pounds.” The entire table and those next to it laughed. I left the soda right in his hand and walked away. No one stood up for me and he never apologized. He claimed that it was a joke. I wasn’t laughing.

Such occurrences only got worse once I got older. In fact,one of my mother’s oldest friends no longer greets me with a, “Hi, how have you been?,” like the average person would, but with a, “You’re fatter.”

comic of double standards with food

“Healthy” does not equal a specific physical appearance.

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