Tag: loving yourself

V-Day, Me-Day

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Five years ago a close friend and I decided to give “us” a try and my first thought that spring was how I finally had someone to go on my “dream date” with. Christmas is the time of year I actually consider to be romantic so when we broke up a couple of months later that summer, not only was I heartbroken that our “relationship” never had a real chance, but being “alone” again meant that  I couldn’t go on that date. For the rest of the year I moped about this. Well, I did until I took myself on the date instead and I found myself loving every minute to it.

This has become a bit of a tradition for me since then, though I have branched out of doing this solely in the month of December. And while I learned that I can enjoy my own company, I love that in the five years since that day I have met people with similar interests that I also can share  experiences with. I also take great care to show them just how much their friendship means to me at every opportunity including Valentine’s day.
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Be Mine

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When it comes to Valentine’s Day the immediate thought that comes to mind is the concept of sexy. I’m the kind of person that has never considered myself sexy by any means but I’ve noticed that what women in particular are drawn to is pretty uncomfortable. With the pencil thin heels, and revealing outfits in various shades of red and/or pink. There isn’t any necessarily wrong with that, yet I think being comfy, sexy and cute should always be an option if only to leave your date choices  open to some non-traditional ideas outside of a formal dinner and a movie. For me any potential date, be it for Valentine’s day or otherwise,  would involve a lot of walking since I love playing tourist in the city so in I would definitely reach for this comfy yet cute outfit.

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Mix and Maxi (Featuring Dia&Co.)

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Back in April I put in my order for my first Dia&Co. box and I received a beautiful windowpane print ELOQUII dress that I loved but would did not fit very well. Devastated I asked my friend, Jonquel, body positive plus size fashion illustrator of JonquelArt, if she wanted to try it on only to find that it fit her perfectly.  That particular dress was a more conservative style than what she normally wears so even though it fit her very well, we ended up sending it back anyway. Needless to say this started our semi-monthly Dia box parties. We now order our boxes around the same time so that we can go through our individual pieces together, giving our honest opinions on how things fit, providing style recommendations as well as giving each other the opportunity to try anything that interests us from the other’s box.

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The Difference Between Surrender and Acceptance

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One of the biggest pushes against body positive movement is this idea that those involved with it are promoting/glorify obesity. For some screwed up reason “making an effort” equals thin while being larger is equated to “letting yourself go” or simply “giving up.” Those of us in this body positive/love community, know this is not the case but for those on the outside looking in, this is their only way to understand what is going on.

At the third annual Golden Confidence Pool Party last month.

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Real #SquadGoals

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I’ve never been good at making friends. For one thing I come from a conservative religious background that can sometimes make it hard for people to relate to me very much, bu more importantly I suffer from social anxiety. In my mind I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be my friend. After all, who would want to be friends with someone who doesn’t go out on Friday nights? Someone who struggles with slang and preferred research in the library over shopping?

Growing up, I  made the effort  to be the friend people would want even though the people I befriended didn’t provide me with the friendships I deserved as most of them would take advantage of my generosity for their personal gain. I had conceded to the idea that I just should take what I was given if I ever wanted to have any friends. Looking back it honestly was a subtle form of self-harm (which is not surprising to me given my deliberate self -injury behavior as a teen) that stopped once I met my best friend Jaden* during freshmen year of high school, who really got me out of my shell by encouraging me to  just be myself to the point that started to open up more.

2013 End it Now March Against Abuse and Domestic Violence with 4RWI

Now as an adult friendships are a bit more complicated with the added responsibilities of family and making a living, yet I have found that these mature relationships, especially with women, are more significant as it isn’t about being a part of an “in-crowd” or anything like that, instead it is about  building life-long relationships with purpose. From gaining real world mentoring from the women of 4 Real Women International, INC (4RWI) while working to empower women both in the US and abroad to meeting and collaborating with influencers that I had long admired from my computer, I pretty much a member of quite a few “squads”.  Granted adulting results in people entering different life stages and/or reaching significant milestones at different times that could lead to envy and/or competition, nevertheless, when you meet the right people that is never an issue.
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