V-Day, Me-Day

Five years ago a close friend and I decided to give “us” a try and my first thought that spring was how I finally had someone to go on my “dream date” with. Christmas is the time of year I actually consider to be romantic so when we broke up a couple of months later that summer, not only was I heartbroken that our “relationship” never had a real chance, but being “alone” again meant that  I couldn’t go on that date. For the rest of the year I moped about this. Well, I did until I took myself on the date instead and I found myself loving every minute to it.

This has become a bit of a tradition for me since then, though I have branched out of doing this solely in the month of December. And while I learned that I can enjoy my own company, I love that in the five years since that day I have met people with similar interests that I also can share  experiences with. I also take great care to show them just how much their friendship means to me at every opportunity including Valentine’s day.
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Be Mine

When it comes to Valentine’s Day the immediate thought that comes to mind is the concept of sexy. I’m the kind of person that has never considered myself sexy by any means but I’ve noticed that what women in particular are drawn to is pretty uncomfortable. With the pencil thin heels, and revealing outfits in various shades of red and/or pink. There isn’t any necessarily wrong with that, yet I think being comfy, sexy and cute should always be an option if only to leave your date choices  open to some non-traditional ideas outside of a formal dinner and a movie. For me any potential date, be it for Valentine’s day or otherwise,  would involve a lot of walking since I love playing tourist in the city so in I would definitely reach for this comfy yet cute outfit.

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A Blue Christmas

Its no secret that I love this time of year. The weather, the lights, the food, and now the parties. I love it all and it tends to make me smile for no reason other than it is Christmastime. Yet this year marks the first time that I’ve been unmotivated to take part in many, if any, festivities. Even gift shopping has felt more like a chore than a joy. I believe that part of this is linked to my depression and anxiety, however with the end of the year fast approaching, I have taken time to do some major introspection that has only worked to further dampen my mood.

I’m an overachiever and a workaholic so its not really surprising that I am disappointed by how short my personal list of supposed accomplishments for this year seems to be.  My negative feelings were felt among my coworkers and friends who made a point to check on me abd cheer me up the best they could. Then came the news of our office holiday party and that caused a buzz as everyone went about prepping for it. I’m an empath so I found myself becoming just as excited as those around me.  Continue reading

Stories in Black and White

Earlier this month I had the pleasure of attending VoWcon (Voices of Women Conference) as always to be expected from 4 Real Women International, INC. it was a wonderful and inspiring event with a diverse set of honored guests that included Award winning -journalist and Spectrum NY 1 News anchor, Cheryl Wills and Brandi Inez Sutton of the Metropolitan Opera. The theme for the conference this year was all about breaking barriers in all parts of your life and highlighted the need to share your story.

With 4RWI CFO, Angela Fletcher & 4RWI Founder, Norka Blackman-Richards

What made this VoWcon17 even more special was the fact that it was also the book launch of Real Women’s Stories – a powerful, inspiring collection of short stories by and about real women. I had been invited to submit a chapter for this book earlier in the year and it was approved to be included in the published text very soon after I sent my first draft. Ever since I was a kid I’ve had the goal to be a published author so the fact that my first published work is actually a chapter about a personal life experience is pretty surreal, nevertheless I can officially add “author” in my resume while also take pride in the fact that my words may help and inspire someone going through similar challenges to the ones I had.

The books!

As one of the authors of the anthology, I knew I would be expected to attend the conference so back in the summer I had already made plans for an outfit to the point that just needed to find the right shoes for it. However a little less than a week before the event, I was asked by my editor and the 4RWI team to wear white, which worried me because I can literally count on one hand the amount of white items in my closet. With no time to shop I put in my request for my Dia box and got this lovely dress from the new Nanette by Nanette Lepore collection.  Continue reading

Disney Fangirl Fashion feat. Little Petal

Being plus size and a huge Disney, Harry Potter, Anime, J-rock, and Marvel fangirl is really not easy. For one thing, when it comes to shopping for geek/nerdy tees, and cosplay apparel it is rare to find pieces in sizes larger than an XL for women.  Then there is the expectation that one should only choose characters that are of your same race. As I mentioned before in an earlier post,  cosplaying is often seen as something that should only be done by those that “can truly emulate a character as depicted in comics, film and video games.” This obviously leaves people of color as well as plus size women like myself out or at risk of getting highly criticized by the geek community.

For this reason, when it came time to order my  Little Petal convertible dress, I had originally chose the Korra dress because I figured that that was a character I could get away with cosplaying, but when I started communicating with designer, Danielle Ward I changed my mind.  As a body positive designer and business owner, she doesn’t believe in things like size limiting who you can dress up as, rather you should think of who you see yourself as. For me that made the decision easy – Esmeralda from Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

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