So Valentine’s day is fast approaching. The one holiday of the year where romance,  and chocolate automatically come to mind, it tends to have a bit of a negative competitive edge to it with people making a big deal of the fact of who has someone, who is single, who has elaborate plans, and the list goes on.

To be honest, I don’t find Valentine’s day to be the most romantic time of the year, personally that honor goes to the Christmas season. The lights, the cold snowy weather,holiday displays and decorations – it just screams romance to me. Anyway, as a teen I dreamed up the “perfect date” that I wanted to be take on by some awesome guy. Every year I hoped that I would meet someone and go on this “perfect date.”  Fast forward to spring four years ago when, having begun a relationship, I figured I was that much closer to my perfect Christmas-time date, yet by the start of that summer I found myself heartbroken and single. By winter of the same year I decided to take myself on that “perfect date” because I wasn’t going to depend on someone else to make me happy and have great experiences.

Sure I was sad, but then I realized that I was waiting to do something that I could very well do and enjoy on my own. While I won’t disclose what my “perfect date” entailed, I will say that I did everything on that list save for a horse and carriage ride in Central Park (mostly because it its way more expensive than I thought.) The date ended with a gift to myself, a Celtic filigree ring and I wear it on those days when I need to extra self-love boost. Dating myself made me acknowledge what I deserve and I believe it is something everyone should do the same whenever possible. Granted Valentine’s day is a great time to tell and show someone you care, but the same should be done for yourself. Here are just four potential activities to have best self-love date this Valentine’s day. Keep in mind that self-care is not selfish or vain – it is necessary, whether you are in a relationship or single.

1. ) Shopping

As someone who is trying hard to stay within my budget at all times, I know just how difficult it is to justify treating yourself. Bills, student loans, metro card fares, groceries and even pets often come before our own wants. Just know that it isn’t wrong to treat yourself  to something YOU want  every once in a while. As the above webcomic suggests, go through your Amazon wishlist and purchase something from there or head out to a brick and mortar store, try things on and buy whatever you happen to like. Essentially take this day to be one of unapologetic self-spoiling because you deserve it.

2.) Boudouir Photoshoot

Let me prefix this by saying the following: Contrary to popular belief you don’t have to be in a relationship in order to do this. I know the trend has become that such things are done with the intention of being a gift to one’s romantic partner,  but there is a very much self-love component to the whole thing . Everyone deserves to have their beauty celebrated and this is just one way of doing so. The best place to get some sexy sleepwear and lingerie is AdoreMe.com. Take a look at some of my favorites:

Blue Longline Bra Azura | Black Balconette Bra Alexis | Green Demi Bra Durga|Pink Balconette Carena

I am still looking for some affordable professional photography options, but until then consider using your own digital camera or phone with timer on a tripod to get this done. And if boudoir is too risque or uncomfortable, consider putting on your favorite outfit and just owning it on camera. Don’t know any poses? Try emulating your favorite bloggers or models that you follow on Instagram or Facebook.

3.) Spa day

Nothing says self-love and self-care like a full day of pampering. While I have yet to actually step foot in a spa myself, I have had my share of massages and I really think that . I have heard that Spa Castle in Queens has many different affordable packages starting at $30 and they even offering some special priced Valentine’s Day packages at the moment. Even if you can’t head of to the spa a mani-pedi at your favorite nail salon is another great pampering alternative.

4.) Staying In

I’m famous for running around the city like a chicken without a head trying to get too many things done in so little time. Living in a place like New York City makes it very easy to forget to make time for yourself  and those you care about due to the daily stresses of life. Sleep in, binge watch that series your coworker told you about, sing and dance around the house, or even try out some recipes you saw in a magazine or on Pinterest. The possibilities are endless.

As for my Valentine’s day plans this year? I’m planning on staying in for most of the day, having a family brunch and then ending the day with a small gathering of friends at my place watching the spring premiere of The Walking Dead.  With my focus being concentrated on getting a new job, my friendships have suffered and I really want to make up for that anyway I can. This is the self care I need this weekend and the fact that I can do so an evening full of with zombies and chocolate just makes it that much special and perfect.

So what do you think? How are you planning to spend Valentine’s day?