Tag: Plus Size Goth

Sweet Like Deadly Nightshade

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Fun fact: When I was growing up, my father had major aspirations of my brother and I becoming child models. Every so often he would put up a white bedsheet on one of the walls in the living room, get some props and outfits together and we’d have our own photoshoot sessions right at home. I still have the albums full of the photos including the professional ones that he had done to send to modeling agencies. Neither my brother or I ever got a modeling contract as kids (Not for lack of trying, I mean we were adorable but I guess that wasn’t enough, hahaha) but at the very least we have the memories.

At the start of quarantine last year, my brother was actually the first one to point out that I could not use the pandemic as an excuse for not continuing to take photos and create content. According to him, I’ve been “trained for in-house photoshoots” and now I even have more space to work with than we did growing up. I initially disagreed because working in one space can be pretty limiting, but in time I took up the challenge, working around issues with lightening (my apartment is intentionally dark in certain spaces) and even did some much needed furniture/decor shopping which I had put off for the last 2 years.

I’ve done quite a bit of shooting at home as a result, some of which I haven’t shared yet, but I wanted to try my hand at something “different” for this new year. So armed with my trusty tripod, selfie light, new make up, new bedding and a lux velvet set I bought as a Christmas gift to myself, I figured it was time to try something way, way outside of my comfort zone – my own boudoir shoot. Continue reading →

Mental Health in the Time of COVID-19

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As someone who has dealt with homeless twice before already, the very thought of unemployment has always been a major anxiety trigger for me. So I’ve become the kind of person that needs to have some sense of financial stability and control in order to hold my fears and anxiety in check. Financially, I am in a better place than how things were with my family back when I was a kid, however, like most people I know living in NYC, I still live paycheck to paycheck, which isn’t the most stress-reducing situation. Just missing one paycheck results in a financial setback that will take months to recover from.

So when I got the news in April that I was furloughed, I broke down and had one of the worst panic attacks ever. My mother, who is getting through lockdown along with me, didn’t know how to help but she tried her best to calm me down, embracing me until I stopped crying, shaking and hyperventilating. (My mother has never experienced me having a panic or anxiety attack firsthand and I know this scared her but I appreciate that this is how she chose to handle the situation in that moment because I managed to recover much faster than I would have otherwise.) I was unconsolable for days. I was angry at all those “we’re in this together” messages circulating everywhere. Yes, we’re facing the same storm that is COVID-19, BUT we’re all experiencing different journeys because we’re on different ships. Some of us aren’t even on ships at all, just doing the best with our inflatable life raft, if that.

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V-Extra for V-day

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It may be because I’ve been re-reading old chapters of Lore Olympus on Webtoon, but when it came to thinking about Valentine’s day this year the only thing that would come to mind is Persephone. For those of your who may be able unfamiliar with Classical Mythology, Persephone is known to be a Goddess of adaptation being that she is both the Goddess of Spring and, due to her marriage to Hades, Queen of the Underworld. So with her contradictory nature and role, we have the light and feminine along with the dark and edgy, all in one.For me this train of thought wasn’t about recreating a look from the aforementioned webcomic (though I really want to for Comic Con one day), but rather give myself a chance to be “extra” just for the hell of it which doesn’t happen too often.

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Sacred Heart Moto

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One of the most popular kinds of tops in plus size fashion has got to be dolman sleeve top. I’m not exactly sure when or how that trend got started,  but it is so common that I stay away from it as it tends to be a boxy cut and usually made of a chiffon fabric.

That is until this one caught my eye while I was scrolling through the Torrid site. Admittedly the print is one that  you have to try on to really see the appeal and that is just what I had to do for me to fall in love with it. You may be wondering, what is it about this sacred heart print that got me interested to begin with. Well, for those of you that may be new to my blog, I’m actually an Art and Design historian who specializes in 17th and 18th century Baroque Art. Moreover, the sacred heart is a traditional Catholic symbol created in sometime during the Middle Ages/Gothic period but was prominently used during the Baroque period to encourage devotion and mediation upon the graces of Christ among the illiterate members of  their congregations.

Typically this symbol is depicted in art as a heart with flames pouring from the top, like a symbol of intense burning love.  It is a Baroque theological referent that was part of the blending the form of light and performance that defines the artistic style of that time used in order to inspire people to accept the Catholic faith, and by extension, Western culture during their conquests.  As you can tell I literally can go on about this for hours, hahaha. I mean I even have a PowerPoint presentation in my external hard-drive on the use of such symbols and the role they played in the Spanish conquest of Latin America. Continue reading →